How to find an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist in India, and how to tell if you have one

Queer people in India are more likely than most to need a therapist and less likely than most to find a good one. The good ones exist in every large city. The problem is that a therapist's website rarely tells you whether they think your orientation is the thing to be treated. This is how to find out before you pay for a session.

Conversion therapy is prohibited

In 2022 the National Medical Commission declared conversion therapy professional misconduct, following a Madras High Court order in the case of a lesbian couple. A registered medical practitioner who tries to "cure" you can lose their licence. The Mental Healthcare Act 2017 also guarantees the right to treatment without discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. So if a therapist suggests your attraction can be changed, they are not offering a different school of thought. They are breaking the rules of their profession, and you can report them to the state medical council.

Where to look

• Queer-run directories. Organisations in the helpline directory maintain lists of affirming therapists they have vetted. Ask the helpline directly; they know who is good.
• Mariwala Health Initiative and the Queer Affirmative Counselling Practice (QACP) course. Therapists who have completed QACP have been trained specifically in this. Ask whether they have.
• The word "affirmative" on a profile. Not "LGBT friendly", which can mean anything. "Queer affirmative" is a term of art that most people who use it have earned.
• Recommendations from queer people. Nothing beats it. Community groups, collectives and the friend who has been in therapy for a year.

What to ask in the first session

You are allowed to interview a therapist. Good ones expect it.

1. "Have you worked with queer or trans clients before?" The answer should be a plain yes with some detail, not a reassurance.
2. "What is your view on sexual orientation and gender identity?" You want to hear that they are natural variations, not conditions.
3. "Have you done any training on queer-affirmative practice?" QACP, or equivalent.
4. For trans clients: "Will you write a letter for gender-affirming care if I need one, and what is your process?" A gatekeeper will hedge.
5. "What happens if my family contacts you?" The answer is that your sessions are confidential and they will tell you.

Red flags

Asking whether you have "tried" being with the opposite sex. Suggesting your orientation is a phase or a response to trauma. Wanting to involve your parents without your consent if you are an adult. Discomfort with your pronouns. Any mention of religion as a treatment. Any of these in the first session is enough to leave. You do not owe an explanation.

What it costs, and the free options

Private sessions in metro cities run from around ₹800 to ₹3,000 an hour. Many affirming therapists offer sliding scales; ask. Free and low-cost options: the helplines in the directory (several offer ongoing counselling, not only crisis calls), Tele-MANAS at 14416, which is the government's 24-hour tele-mental-health service, and college counselling centres, which are increasingly trained. Some organisations run peer-support groups, which are not therapy but are often the thing that helps most.

Online is fine

If your city has no affirming therapist, or you are not out at home, video sessions with one in another city work well. Use headphones, pick a time when you have the room, and tell the therapist your situation so they can plan for a call that gets interrupted.

If the reason you are reading this is a bad night rather than a plan, call a helpline first. The directory has numbers that answer at 2 a.m.